Don't check out!!!

There is an epidemic going on right now and it isn't a disease that we can go to the doctor to get better. It is a disease of the human soul...the dying of our spirits I believe. It is a disease that is destroying the hearts of God's people. It is the disease of disconnection. Shutting out the world. Going it on our own. Buying stock in self sufficiency.
I drove Linds to school this morning and we had an opportunity to talk about this. We dropped off her snowboarding equipment at the drop off point before school this morning. She goes most Friday afternoons with the Ski club to a local Ski hill and snowboards her little heart out!!! And she is good! As we were waiting for the trailer to show up to put her equipment in, our conversation some how turned to "what is wrong with people"? She is 16 and has seen more heartache and rejection in her young life than I would have ever believed possible. She is a joyous young woman and really still wants to believe in the best of people, but today she was just appalled at the way people are behaving more and more every day. Some people would say to her, "well better to face the harsh realities of how awful people are now!!", or "get used to it kid...that will be you someday!"...but I don't want her to HAVE TO DO THIS!
She sees it all day at school..people disconnected...no one caring about anyone else...only in this life to get everything they can out of others and thinking only of themselves....ME ME ME ME ME! It ticks her off. At that point I am driving by our ambulance base and she asked me how we get the ambulances out of the garages for calls when all those buses and parents block the way. "Mom...they move don't they?" Unfortunately I could say they don't always move and sometimes they are really rude and angry at us when they have to get out of the way so we can go on a call. Yep...that is the truth. In fact...when I pull in to the parking lot for work some days and the parents are all lined up in their cars either dropping off their children at the school in our building or they are picking up....they are rude to those of us who work on the ambulance. Dirty looks, refusal to move their cars, almost running us over, nearly running into the ambulances...all in a hurry to do "their thing"...and wanting us out of "their" way. That brought the enlightenment to Linds about how the public treats us "ambulance drivers" when we are out in public...or on a call...they treat us with disdain...like our soul purpose is to be in "their" way or to disrupt "their" day. Needless to say...my daughter being "my" daughter...that ticked her off.
The rest of the drive to school was a discussion about how people today only care about themselves....how they seek to do destructive things to others all in the name of doing "what is best for me!"....and what about those who make you think they are nice and that you can trust them...and then they hurt you and refuse to accept any responsibility for their own actions! Yep...all big topics of discussion this morning on her way to school. Wow ....I would have loved to just talk about something nice like what movie she watched last night or how she was liking her new jeans! Not so!!!
So after dropping her off this morning, I found myself musing over the talk we had. I recalled the coffee talk Amanda and I had yesterday...and the chats Stacy and I had last night while out shopping. All of these talks...chats...about the disconnection of people and how it is affecting the rest of us.
I used to be one of those people. When someone hurt me...I retreated into my own little world and isolated myself...all thinking.."If I just keep to myself and stay in my little world and NOT let anyone in...I will be safe...I can heal and never let anyone hurt me again!" Sound familiar??? How many of us have said or done this??? How many of still want too??? I get it...is really sucks to get hurt...to get the wind knocked out of you...to think all is good...only to have someone say "hey...don't want ya..." or "I don't like you...or I don't love you!" any of those words and a whole lot more!!! Yep...really hurts...sick to your stomach hurt!! Sometimes "the whole world collapsing around you" hurt! I am 45 years old and I have felt this on my skin more than I ever thought I would...and some of those hurts I truly didn't think I would live through...but I have!
It took all the hope and trust I could muster (and most of the time..it was pretty tiny)in God and the prayers of "I give up...please take over my life!!! I suck at managing this crappy life God...Your way has to be better than mine!".
Buying stock into self sufficiency...the thought of "I don't need anyone...I will be fine all by myself...I won't let anyone in ever again..."ect....only murders the heart and destroys our very souls!!
It is a sad existence. Let me give you a couple of examples:
Have you ever walked into some one's home and looked around their house to try and get a good impression of who they really are? Yes....we all have...just say yes!
When You walk into my house, you are instantly introduced to my children. A big picture frame hangs in my hall with lots of pictures of my kids..from various ages and stages. Walk into my bathroom and you are greeted by pictures of me and my kids...laughing, smiling and hugging!
Walk into my living room...and no matter where you look...pictures of the people in my life. All people I am in relationship with. Some pictures are old...some recent...some really funny! The colors in my house of jewel tones...ruby, purple, emerald, sapphire, deep browns...and the smells are inviting and spicy!My bedroom is lush, fragrant and deeply colored...no pastels for me...deep passion colors of red, purple, dark browns and gold. My bed says " come lay down and be loved, comforted and blessed!"
No matter where you go in my house...you see, smell and feel warmth, relationship and love.
Now think about this...you go into some one's house and it is chaos. Nothing in any of their rooms says "I have relationships with people"...no pictures of family, friends, or pets. No place in their house that says..."hey come and hang with me here"...every room in their house is filled with only "their" stuff and there are no signs of life outside of themselves...there is no place here that says there is room for you here. Doesn't sound like a warm and happy place to be does it? Just imagine if that is what you come home to every day. What if that is your house? Now understand me here...I am not a great house decorator...so this is not about "decorating" this is about living. When you discontent from people...from trusting...from hope...from relationships...from love...you become closed up and cold inside. When you "feel" this way...it hurts even worse to come home to a place where you are reminded of people, hope, relationships and love...so you get rid of everything around you that reminds you of all the ugly pain you carry inside. We all do this a little...be honest. Someone you like gives you something...then hurts you...and you get rid of what they gave you cause you think it will ease your pain. Sometimes it does...and sometimes it doesn't...most of the time it doesn't. The longer we isolate...hid from the world...refuse to trust...refuse to hope...refuse to try...refuse to make and take care of relationships...the colder our hearts become...and starker our existence is. We soon begin to hide in our houses. Put on the smile and "good show" for co workers and casual friends...but once we are out of their sight...the smile fades...the coldness of our hearts engulfs us and we hide in our houses. We hide in fear of being hurt, of being found out..and we become professional excuse makers. Do you really think that is why God created us??? Um....nooooo!!
We have choices...we can refuse to disconnect. We can take the risks...and I mean really try...not haphazardly...we can throw down all our hurts...all our dreams...all our hopes...everything...throw it all down and say..."God I can't do it all on my own....I am not You...please take the lead...take hold of me...and show me how You want me to live...how You want me to be....show me Your hope...Your love...Your relationship"....
We have to fight this disease of disconnection. It is destroying us....our families...our relationships...our friends...our hopes...our dreams ....our love.
Even when you can really say that life sucks!! Don't check out! Even when life doesn't make any sense or seems to be spinning out of control...Don't check out!!!
Check in...you have friends...you have family....you have a great big God......


Philippians 4:6-9 says
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, what ever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable---if anything excellent or praise worthy---think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heart from me or seen in me...put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.


Don't check out...surround yourself with people...with relationships...with God....
Check in to life!!!!!!

Love you all,
Lorrie