The Beautiful

Over the last few years I have found myself getting a little outraged by what society labels as beautiful. Today we are mislead by the propaganda of the news media, entertainment culture and the elite wealthy about what beauty is, who is beautiful and how you can get beauty. It is ridiculous and irresponsible to allow the "world" to dictate to us what beauty is.
When I was growing up, I believed a lie someone told me about myself and instantly the reflection of myself in the mirror became altered. When I look at pictures of me as a little girl I have often been surprised at what a beautiful child I was. I remember being the child who was always daydreaming...off somewhere on a little adventure . I remember that most of those day dreams where actually times of being caught up in admiration of the many beautiful things around me. Yes,....I usually got in trouble for day dreaming. Whether it was by my parents or teachers...most adults felt it necessary to "Bring me back to reality". I was thinking about this today while sitting in the front of the ambulance covering for another service. I found myself remembering times when my mother would come outside of our home to find me laying on the front yard gazing at the sky...and it didn't matter if it was spring, summer, winter or fall. She always asked me..."What are you doing...." and I would answer 'just looking". She would just shake her head and try to redirect me into doing something else. I am sure there were times she probably thought something just wasn't quite right with me....here she had a child who loved to day dream. But I wasn't just dreaming...I was seeing . I was seeing all the beauty in my little world. From the many different colors of blue in the sky (because the sky isn't just one color of blue...lay on the grass sometime and watch the blue sky for awhile...you will see!), to the crayon box of colors of leaves on the trees in the fall. Those times where incredible!! What a peace and joy I felt. Looking back at those times today I found myself thinking about how sad it is that we are too busy to notice those things now. And I am not just talking about us adults....children today rarely have the time to see the amazing beauty of our world because they are so busy doing activities. I believe that when I suffered what I thought was the loss of my beauty that day so very long ago...that I became a studier of the beauty around me...as if in an attempt to figure out how to become beautiful again. It took until I was 42 years old. Now don't get me wrong...many people over all those years would tell me I was cute or nice looking. But what I saw in the mirror every day was someone NOT beautiful....and cute and nice looking is not the same as beautiful. Everyday since I was 42 I have seen beauty in my mirror. My world is once again a place filled with day dreams and color. So today, as I was basking in the sunshine streaming into the cab of the ambulance, and felt the embrace of the heat from the sun, I was reminded again to day dream...to look at the beauty around me...to not listen to what society tells me is beauty...but to just look at the magnificent world around me....all the colors, all the sounds, all the things that touch and effect us....all beautifully made. I am truly thankful for all those years of daydreaming...I saw the little details of creation that make things beautiful...and it filled me with a yearning to find my beauty again....and I did.
I yearn for more moments of daydreaming. Days spent sitting in the woods listening to the whisper of the leaves, and marveling at the multitude of color making up the grass. Nights spent lying on my back, watching the sky pop with light...if you look long enough you will notice that the stars are not just white...there are other colors.....sunsets over mountains and oceans...and the smell of dusk settling in to night. That is beauty. When we take all of those things in, when we treasure those tiny moments of beauty...it makes a lasting imprint on our hearts and souls...and we shine even brighter. Take a moment to look in the mirror. Don't focus on the wrinkles, or acne or gray hair or any of the other things you believe to make you imperfect. Look at the color of your eyes. No one else in the world has the same color as you...sure there are people with blue eyes or brown or green...but there are tiny flecks of light in those colors that make your eyes unique. Look at the color of your lips...no one has the exact color or shape of your lips. What about your hair...the colors, the texture, the feel....and that goes for those who have less hair than others too....or more gray hair than others...not one strand is exactly the same color as another...there is nothing boring about any of us...we are all beautifully made. Who says you have to find beauty in a magazine or on TV or the movies....it is in the very world around you and in you every single day.
So don't look so strangely at me when I comment on your beauty.,...you see I have had years of watching the beauty in this world...I know beauty when I see it...every little facet of it!
Lorrie Michelle Durbin