Monday, November 17, 2008

Beauty, Bravery and a four letter word...

So today I find myself stuck at home. My right shoulder giving me great pain today...to the point where last night I had to admit that I couldn't work..and had to take the day off...not a normal course of action for me...my work ethic that I grew up with is very strong..do your best every day...suffer through the toughest days..and be responsible...so it is in the part of being responsible that I am home today...because if I don't take care of myself...then I do myself a disservice. Being whole as a woman means acknowledging my weaknesses as well as my strengths...and not being ashamed of my weaknesses...but not using them as an excuse for poor behavior either. So here I sit..nursing my shoulder..reading my book and now satisfying the ache in my heart to write. Thank God that this morning upon awakening, I was able to lift my arm up about half way...which means that I can sit here in front of my computer and write! Yea!!
If you have been a reader of my blogs and prior to this blog...of my email messages...you know that I am definately a book lover...sometimes I read for pleasure...some humerous, some light, and some deep with emotion. I also read for gaining wisdom and truth. Most of that comes from the Word of God...the Bible...but I do have people that I read. Their books are full of wisdom,truth and even encouragement and healing. I think I gave a list of some of those books and authors in a previous blog...including the book I am currently read..."Fight like a Girl..The power of being a Woman" by Lisa Bevere. I believe I also mentioned that this book is not a book for a feminist...and I am not a feminist. This book is a celebration and encouragement for women to be the women God created them to be. It includes chapters of womanhood, mothering, men, love, relationships and marriage...but its underlaying message is about truly believing that our Great God in Heaven is deeply in love with His children...His sons and daughters...and how to embrace and live in that love...and in every part of our lives. As I read this book my heart leaps for great joy! The feminine heart that God created inside me, that has always yearned to be lived out loud..finds joy in this book. For the past few years I have been going through this transformation from being a woman of this world...to being a woman after God's own heart..and letting that carry over into every element of my life. I love not having to be a man in this world anymore...and being transparent and real as a woman..a woman who has a depth to her heart and soul.
So as I was reading today in this book I was touched by a few paragraphs that I was reading. I found myself literally exclaiming outloud....YES YES YES... that is right..those are the struggles and fears we women have...but those are also the glorious qualities we women also possess and want to walk in.
Taking a break from reading for a short period...I checked some emails and found some online messages I get from Ransomed Heart ministries...John Eldridge..who has written some incredible books on men and who they are...what they were created for. Him and his wife Stasi also wrote a book called Captivating...a book on who they were created to be...they were written to be read by both men and women...after reading these books I had a new found respect and admiration for men...and I no longer continued to view them as someone who hurts, lies and leaves. Yeah!!! Well I read the last couple of days of messages...and really felt that it wasn't a coincidence that these messages and the chapter I was reading in the book were dealing with some of the same messages. So I have decided to post some excerpts of the book and the messages on this blog. I think everyone who reads them will find themself in the message in some way...
The title of my blog today is Beauty, Bravery and a four letter word...well that word is love. Women, we have such a responsibility with this word. The power of our words can bring love or shatter it. Okay...I will just post the messages...and let the power of those words settle into your spirit.

Excerpts from the book...Fight like a Girl
Lisa Bevere writes:
Everything of value in this life carries with it some form of risk. There is the threat of losing control and the curse of failure, but there is no fear in love. Why? Love can never fail. Therefore, when love is found, it should be protected at all cost. It should be the driving force behind all we do. Once we have love, it cannot be separated rom us without causing great injury. I realize that I am painting a picture of what should be rather than what often is. But in this picture, I believe you will glimpse the power of what could be and move from the domain of disappointment to the realm of hope.
Once love is openly declared, there is no going back. This happens between a man and a woman as well as between Christ and His beloved bride. For with Him, there is no coming back from the promise of the love that propelled Him to risk it all. (she is referring to Christ). I know men in their many frail and human forms of father, brother, boyfriend and husband may have disappointed you, but God cannot. It is not possible for Him to fail you. Men love, but God IS love.
If we are to move beyond survival in our human relationships, we must allow our hearts to remain open to the transforming power of love.
Lisa poses some questions that I believe all of us women have asked, done or wondered about...
Do we women seek to be men because we long for what they alone can bring to our lives? In our desperation, have we forgotten that by becoming THEIR piece of the puzzle, we have lost the intimate fit? While we were so busy coaching them on how to be men, did we forget what it was to be women? Are we afraid they will so profoundly fail us that we will not entrust them with the gifts of our love and strength? What can we ever hope to gain by withholding what we were made to give so freely? Must we rob them of their words and take control merely because we are afraid that if we are not speaking we will not be heard? Are we still so frightened that we seek to control so we will not again be hurt?
She continues...
It is when we learn to love fearlessly that we will find ourselves loved perfectly. Those around you may not magically change, but you will. You will be free again. The world trembles before the woman who chooses to fearlessly love. Love is not only one of the weapons and forces women fight with; love is their domain to protect. Like the Word of God, it is both our sword and our promise.
As guardians of the heart, women have the amazing power to strengthen and encourage others. As we extend this gift, we cannot help but be raised ourselves. How does this happen? We lift others by speaking strength to their weaknesses. I am not asking you to embrace denial or ignore flaws or weaknesses you see. I am asking you to not engage them in conversation. Rather than conversing about what is wrong, I am challenging you to take your gift of words and strengthen the weak places.
The wise woman builds her house, but the foolish pulls it down with her hands. ( Proverbs 14:1)
There is contrast evident here: we can build with our words or tear down with our hands. Hands represent what we do in our natural abilities. This would include criticism and nagging. Wise women understand that death and life are released throug the power of the tongue, and therefore they choose their words wisely. Men and women often need to be affirmed in different ways and areas. Women want to be loved and understood, while men need to be respected and admired.

I will stop there with the excerpts...so you can just ponder what was said.
Here are the other posts... on Beauty, Bravery and Romance...
What Beauty Speaks 11/16/2008
We need what Beauty speaks. What it says is hard to put into words. But part of its message is, all is well. All will be well.Beauty invites. Recall what it is like to hear a truly beautiful piece of music. It captures you; you want to sit down and just drink it in. We buy the CD and play it many times over. (This is not visual, showing us that beauty is deeper than looks.). Music like this commands your attention, invites you to come more deeply into it. The same is true of a beautiful garden, or a scene in nature. You want to enter in, explore, partake of it. Feast upon it. We describe a great book as “captivating” also. It draws you in, holds your attention. You can’t wait to get back to it, spend time with it. All of the things that God wants of us. All of the things a woman wants, too. Beauty invites.Beauty nourishes. It is a kind of food our souls crave. A woman’s breast is among the loveliest of all God’s works, and it is with her breast she nourishes a baby – a stunning picture of the way in which Beauty itself nourishes us. In fact, a woman’s body is one of the most beautiful of all God’s creations. “Too much of eternity,” as Blake said, “for the eye of man.” It nourishes, offers life. That is such a profound metaphor for Beauty itself. As Lewis said, We do not want merely to see beauty, though, God knows, even that is bounty enough. We want something else which can hardly be put into words—to be united with the beauty we see, to pass into it, to receive it into ourselves, to bathe in it, to become part of it. (The Weight of Glory)Beauty comforts. There is something profoundly healing about it. Have you ever wondered why we send flowers to the bereaved? In the midst of their suffering and loss, only a gift of beauty says enough, or says it right. After I lost my dearest friend Brent, there were months where only beauty helped. I could not hear words of counsel. I could not read or even pray. Only beauty helped. It soothes the soul. There’s a touching story told from the hospitals of WWII, where a young and badly wounded soldier was brought in from a hellish week of fighting. After doing what she can for him, the nurse asks if there is anything else she can do. “Yes,” he said. “Could you just put on some lipstick while I watch?” Beauty comforts.Beauty inspires. After beholding all the marvelous wonders of the creation of Narnia (as told in The Magician’s Nephew by C.S. Lewis), the cabbie says, “Glory be!” “I’d have been a better man all my life if I’d known there were things like this!” Or as Jack Nicholson says to Helen Hunt at the end of As Good as it Gets, “You make me want to be a better man.” Isn’t it true? Think of what it might have been like to have been in the presence of a woman like Mother Teresa. Her life was so beautiful, and it called us to something higher. (Captivating, 38-40)

Bravery 11/15/2008
Warriors are strong (or valiant), the word of God lives in them, and they have overcome the Evil One. That’s good. To cultivate this in a young man (and in ourselves as older men), it might help to think along three lines: Bravery, Conviction, and an Epic Story. Winston Churchill believed that courage was the foremost of all virtues, because he saw that all other virtues depend on it. It takes courage to love, because we all know loving means you will be hurt. Repeatedly. It takes courage to have faith, because we all know that your faith will be sorely tested. It takes courage to be honest, and so on. there are several types of bravery—physical, emotional, and spiritual. Read any biographical account of battlefield heroes, or heroes of any kind, and what stands out is their physical bravery. Hal Moore as the first to step on, and the last to step off, the field in the Ia Drang Valley in Vietnam. The firemen who ran up the stairs of the World Trade Center while everyone else was running down. Physical bravery is cultivated in great part by adventure, and sports, by intentionally putting yourself in dangerous situations. Emotional bravery is developed in most cases of physical bravery, for he will have to master fear, but it is also formed when a young man takes risks in relationships. It might mean risking embarrassment by making a speech in front of a class. It might mean risking rejection by making a new friend, or confronting a good friend on some issue. It will require him to leave a party when the kids start doing things they shouldn’t be doing. He will need emotional bravery in large measure when he enters into marriage, for Adam’s paralysis seizes many a man when he finds himself in the mysterious interior of a woman’s soul. The important thing in cultivating emotional bravery is helping the boy learn not to quit, teaching him to rise above setbacks and heartbreaks. Spiritual bravery is cultivated when we take risks of faith. This is the greatest bravery, as far as I’m concerned. Think of the many martyrs, like Polycarp going to his execution. He had been warned in a vision that he would be burned at the stake, but he would not let fear seize him. Refusing to confess Caesar as Lord, the old saint went to his death willingly, even to the point of telling his tormentors it would not be necessary to nail him to the stake, that he would remain there by the grace of God. For he heard a voice from heaven say, “Play the man,” and play the man he did. (The Way of The Wild Heart , 162, 163)
Longing for Romance 11/17/2008
We are made for intimacy with God, not just knowledge about him. There comes a time in the life of every believer when propositional truth is no longer enough. It will always remain central, the foundation for our faith. And sometimes it is all we have, and we can run far and long on it. But women long for romance. We are wired for it; it’s what makes our hearts come alive. The path of our restoration as women, the healing of our feminine hearts, that path takes us into a deeper experience of God and his Lover’s love for us. A woman becomes beautiful when she knows she’s loved. We’ve seen this many times – you probably have, too. Cut off from love, rejected, no one pursuing her, something in a woman wilts like a flower no one waters anymore. She withers into resignation, duty and shame. The radiance of her countenance goes out, like a light that has been turned off. But this same woman, whom everyone thought was rather plain and unengaging, she becomes lovely and inviting when she is pursued. Her heart begins to come alive, come to the surface, and her countenance becomes radiant. We wonder, “Where has she been all these years? Why – she really is captivating.” Think of Fran in Strictly Ballroom, or Tulah in My Big Fat Greek Wedding. Remember Lottie in Enchanted April, Adrian in Rocky or Danielle in Ever After. Their beauty was always there. What happened was merely the power of romance releasing her true beauty, awakening her heart. She has come alive. This doesn’t need to wait for a man. God longs to bring this into your life himself. He wants to heal us through his love to become mature women who actually know him. He wants us to experience verses like, “Therefore I am now going to allure her; I will lead her into the desert and speak tenderly to her” (Hosea 2:14). And “You have stolen my heart, my sister, my bride.” (Song of Songs 4:9) Our hearts are desperate for this. What would it be like to experience for yourself that the truest thing about his heart toward yours is not disappointment or disapproval but deep, fiery, passionate love? This is, after all, what a woman was made for. (Captivating 112-113)

God's best for you all!
Lorrie

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