Compliments...if you think them, say them...and really mean them!

Hey ya'll....how is it going??? Well, I woke this morning to a blog hanging out in my head. So I am finally sitting down to write it. It is about compliments, the importance of them, the power of compliments, and also about not keeping them to yourselves...because no one can read minds...and about really meaning what you say.

The last few months, a few of my friends and I have actually had several conversations about the power of words...about certain key words used as compliments that WOMEN hate...and about how important it is for us to hear them...

Funny how some of us who have had past relationships and/or marriages all say the same thing....the men just never understood how important it is to us as women to hear the compliments...ESPECIALLY when we have really put effort into how we look and what we are wearing. I can't tell you how many times I would get all dressed up for an occasion...and present myself (twirling and swaying) to my husband...only to have him either just nod and say..."okay let's go" or shrug and say...you look nice...or you look fine. Talk about deflating a woman and making her feel like she is nothing. Whenever I would say something about how that makes me feel I would here the words..."well you should know that I think you look nice...I am hear aren't I"...wow...that really helped...Not!! Or...what about when they don't say anything....and when you mention to them...they tell you..."well I thought about telling you...but then it slipped my mind." You tell a woman that...and she will IMMEDIATELY believe that SHE slips your mind. I am telling ya....for sure she will....and that isn't a good thing...not at all. We women want to know AND be told we are thought of...that we are beautiful..or talented...or important....we have learned the hard way...NEVER TO ASSUME these things.

So for me...the words..."You look nice..."or "You look fine" will never impress me...never make me believe that I really am beautiful or important to anyone...

For others it is the words..."Yea...you look good."

And some never heard any words...just silence and starring eyes.

So ....how important are compliments? Well just like any other words...they can be very powerful both postively and negatively. I am one of those people who believes that if you are thinking the compliment...tell the person...because they may just NEED to hear it that day.

Be real about what you are saying too...compliments that are false really hurt too...so be real and truthful.

I know for me...that have been many times I have missed an opportunity to say a compliment...and found out later...that by not speaking it...I hurt someone. That is a horrible place to be. And let me be real about us women....if we are getting all dressed up...doing the whole hair...makeup...clothes thing....and you don't say something to us...you will hear about it later...and by then we have stewed about it and the erruption will last far longer than the time it would have taken to just give the compliment. I am just being honest here...we women are like that....wish it wasn't so...but it is.

So in talking to my girlfriends over the last few weeks about this....something else kept coming up...how the men in our lives...past and present....either minimized the compliments we gave them...or they would immediately think we women were wanting something. For us...we feel like we are in a no win situation sometimes. So often we are so grateful and appreciative of the men in our lives and the things they do for us...that we shower them with praise and compliments...only to have them shoved back at us...cause men feel awkward about the compliments. I have heard this over and over from many of my married friends....and from my friends that are dating as well. So my question is this then...if we women are suppose to let the men in our lives be our hero and rescuer....why are our compliments rejected by them then???

And what can we do to change this????

Here is a scenario to think about....
The woman spends time creating a "WOW" factor for her man....she steps out into his presence...feeling beautiful and sexy....she does the twirl...big smile on her face....and he stands there...slowly her smile fades...and she says..."well???" and he says..."well what?" Now the smile brightens...cause she is thinking she will hear the words she is desiring to hear...that she excites him and is wanted...and so she says..."well...how do I look?' and he says..."fine. Let's go." The smile drops faster than raindrops....and she is wounded....and can't help but wonder what is wrong with her...
and yet...statistics and men themselves say they think about sex about every 7 seconds...so maybe that isn't quite true...maybe not that much...but really...men think about sex a lot....so here we have the man thinks about sex a lot...and yet he just missed the best opportunity to tell the woman he loves and wants to have sex with...that she is hot...and makes him hot...and he can't wait to have sex with her later...cause actually men...women do want to hear that....and then later he wonders why she isn't in the mood.
Can I just say...this was my life and so many other womens stories....
Men...if you want to have sex with her...you have to give her the compliments!!!!! At least that is what the women I have talked to about this say....funny how is it would be to make this happen...just give the compliments...and watch the woman transform before your eyes into a desirable woman...who would do anything for her man....
Kinda think that is the way it is suppose to be...wouldn't it be great if more women and men did this????
Maybe we should all practice it a little more!
Lorrie