Sometimes it takes the black on the white to make sense!

Well I am hoping this blog finds you all smiling from a wonderful Christmas weekend! I had a fabulous one!!! I spent it with loved ones and family in Sioux Falls...wouldn't have wanted to be anywhere else. I was able to spend a really awesome time with my mother and sister!
On Saturday, I took a few hours to go to Barnes and Nobles and sit and read books off the shelf. I was there for about 2 hours...and got through two books. Yesssss....that is how fast I can read. I have been a skimming reader my whole life...and have always been able to retain all that I read...yea...I know people hate that...sorry.
So there I sat, reading a book my girlfriend Stacy mentioned I should read. Yea...if you are dating someone...read Boundaries in Dating by Dr Henry Cloud. I learned a lot...and got a lot of clarity of issues I had...and saw where I am constantly making the wrong choices....sometimes it takes a book to show you what others are telling you....it took the black of the print on the white of the pages to do this for me.
After that...I stumbled upon another book that someone had suggested I read...it is by Greg Behrendt called...He's just not that into you.....um..okay.........wow....I had nooooo clue!!!!!! And now I really get it.
Here is one of the excerpts from that book....
Excerpt - page 18: "... A man would rather be trampled by ele-phants that are on fire than tell you that he's just not that into you. ..."
From the book ...He's just not that into you by Greg Behrendt
Talk about a two by four to my head!!!! I am not always the smartest person...but I am not stupid either.
Now...this book isn't written from a christian perspective...but from a former...I am just not that into you ...guy. He lays out all the signs and symptoms of this kind of man...and the author doesn't have flattering things to say about the guys he is talking about in his book. He point blank calls these men...jerks...(okay that is not the word he used...it starts with an a and ends with the word hole....not my choice of words...the author's...sorry) and tells the woman...MOVE ON!!! Especially in this 21st century of technology where we have cell phones, texting, computers...facebook..you name it...the guy says if you are hearing the words "I was just really busy...and so I didn't get around to calling..." ect...it is the guy's way of saying..."Hey...you just are not that important...I don't want to be mean ....I still want to look like the nice guy here...but I am just not that into you." Only they are very uncomfortable about saying those things...so they give excuses. Greg Behrendt goes on to say...if a man wants something or someone...he will pursue it...and go for it aggressively...and make it a priority....hmmmm...good to know these things...filing that away for future reference...or maybe call it a TWO BY FOUR TO THE HEAD!! LOL LOL LOL LOL I really got a kick out of his book...it was really insightful....and when I ran it by my best guy friend Rob...pretty much right on the money!!!
Then I checked out a few other books and ended up buying them...one is called Safe People...How to find relationships that are good for you and avoid those that aren't..by Dr Henry Cloud..our church was doing this series and I wasn't able to take it....and so now I am reading the book. And it doesn't just focus on dating...it is about all types of relationships.
The next two books are by Michelle Mckinney Hammond....and when I skimmed through her books...I HAD to buy them..She is a Christian woman and the founder of HeartWing ministries...and she has some very specific things to say about the rules of dating...and about the compromises and mistakes women make in their relationships. She rocks.
Now I am not saying that everything in these books is the absolute truth...I am sure that there are exceptions to the situations given in the books. I truly believe that!
But....the books sure do make sense....and sometimes it takes the black on the white to make sense with me. Words are words...and actions can really speak louder than the words...and when the actions continue to contradict other actions and all the words....sometimes you have to see the truth through the written word. Obviously every situation is different...and not every woman and man are the same. I refuse to lump all men in a category...as well as lumping all women together as well. All I can do is apply these insights to my own life and see what happens.
Guess I have had a few two by fours to the head over the weekend....and I don't like it...so it is time to wise up!!!
This is my description of who I am listed in blue text below....
I am a woman who is passionate in her life. I am a woman who makes mistakes. I am a woman who has a deep heart and one that remains true to those she loves through the tough times and the joyous ones. I am a smart woman. I have integrity and character...but I am not perfect....nor do I want to be put on such a high pedestal that I have to walk on egg shells to be accepted, liked, dated or loved. I am a woman who believes in forgiveness and working things out and not running away from problems. I have stamina and endurance to walk through the tough times because I believe that it is important. I will not lead people on nor will I pretend to be someone I am not to impress someone. I have emotions...and sometimes...humanly..they get out of control...and I have to reel them back in...and always this is followed by a sincere apology and an attempt to make amends. I will not lie to you about how I feel about you...nor will I be a coward and not value you enough to come to you and talk. I believe in God...I believe in family ...and I believe in truth...and I believe in love. This is who I am...and I am flawed...just like everyone else...but I am still worthy of respect and love...and I will never settle for less. I look for the best in my family, friends and loved ones...and I will walk beside them when they lose their way or make mistakes. I dislike unfaithfulness, lies and cowards. I will not be a co dependent ever. I will not be a man. I am a woman..beautifully created by God. I am waiting.
( for those of you who recieve my blog by email..and have logged on recently..you will notice I removed a blog I posted a few days ago...and yes you did get it in your email. It was a personal moment of being accountable for the injuries I have caused someone. I chose to move it back into my draft folder so it was not available to the general public. It was a personal message and I appreciate all of you who commented on it!! AS of this writing...nothing has changed. No resolution has been found. I am saddened by this...but letting God show me my responsibility in this and the other person's. And I am letting go of the hurt. Thanks so much for all of you who read my blog! God bless!)
All my love always,
Lorrie